Wallungen

ネットフリックスについて
戦争の話をした
ウクライナのための武器
そして冷蔵庫のキノコ
病気の骨について語り合った
服、ホルモン、ビタミン
キャリアとパートナー
AIとすべての危機
私たちが今日読んでいる

but what is it with the hate in the world
and what is it with my flowers
they are dying, it’s too hot
but there’s nobody to water them
during my Ayurveda retreat
I compete with the time, and how are you ?

let me have a sip of wine
and I’ll tell you what I think
about the elections, the stars and tanks
I’ll tell you how I see the future or the past
through James Webb Space Telescope
how I cope with not having hope
for the world
as long as it gives me comfort
and the feeling of importance
I’m informed, and how about you?

there’s an olive in my mouth
mixed with quinoa salad
and the fruit
strange fruit, bitter touch
a sip of a french wine,
intertwined with words like
strike and mother and all the other
less important people
but have we ever spoken about NATO?
the kids in Yemen or Plato?

口の中のグローバリゼーション
味、音、思考の自給自足ミックス
目新しいものなし
常にこの中に生きている証
幸福と成功の擬似3次元おとぎ話である。
私は満腹だ。

招かれざる客が来た
長いブロンドの髪
彼女の美しさが私の顔に向かって叫ぶ、
彼女の瞳には自然の跡が残っている
その虹色の瞳に
信頼を装う。

under those layers
I imagine her short past
her future
and the answers
to why the heck does she think
I’d be happy to get her advice

I hope she’s not planning
To talk to me
with only 20 years of being here
in this world

there is a perfume wall between us
sweet – flowers dung on my tongue
I do not breathe
I hope she won’t talk
I hope she won’t instruct me
about the needs
of my mid – forties face

そして始まる
粘り強く、たくさんの言葉を
耳の聞こえない心の状態に向かって走る
避ける唯一の方法は
再定義するための彼女のアイデア
年齢を再定義する方法
シミ、頬の緩み

ah, she knows so well what I need
reciting the lyrics of that Douglas Lied
thinking – I’ll be happy to get her guidance
about the demands of midlife crisis

恩寵は私が感じるものではない
私が感じるのはほてりだ、
パンチングバッグか叫び声が必要だ、
言葉だらけのトンネルの先にある光。

I need a solution for my mood
not another reason for being rude
if I only could…
I’m shrinking, I’m thinking
whether to buy
the most expensive thing in the store
or nothing at all
I need a solution for my anger

恩寵は私が感じるものではない
私が感じるのはほてりだ、
気分の変動
脳霧
やる気の欠如
頭痛
寝汗
乳房の圧痛
ほてり
生理が止まる
消化器系の問題
急激な体重増加
リビドー喪失
膣の乾燥
骨粗鬆症
関節のこわばり
筋肉痛
自信喪失
髪が薄くなる
乾燥肌
にきび
ドライアイ
しわ
ドライマウス
膨満感
疲労
不眠症
不安
排尿痛
しめった感じ
口の火照り
顔の毛
めまい
集中力の欠如
うつ病

招かれざる客が来た
長いブロンドの髪
彼女の美しさが私の顔で叫ぶ
彼女の名前は：あなたのすべてを私に売る

私はその何もない場所を知っている
王家の怠惰と聖なる首吊りの
天気予報アプリを開かない場所、
どんなときでもパジャマがある

a silent protest of the dust spread around all the floors
like grey blow-balls dispersed around the summer afternoon
but I don’t care, I let them live their dusty lives

そして私はその日の女王として
ソファとキッチンの間を練り歩く
幸せな昼下がりのため息をつきながら。

I make a list of all the things I won’t do today:
I won’t try
I won’t let the guilt to sneak in this light room
only sunlight in the room
I won’t…

I won’t plan, or… I will
It’s nice to spend a minute or two
thinking about me do
nothing else but making blue
like that German girl I knew
she was the best, the master in blau machen
she would be able to make the whole world easy
like Sunday morning,

easy like the feather lost in that baby – blue sky

Everything starts with a cloud.
from big bang to the cloud
to the little big bang of the birth,
to bean stew every Friday,
from hating it to loving it,
to getting sick of it over the years,
to becoming nostalgic about the familiar, and missing that stew again,
working on it until it tastes like mother’s, then passing the recipe to the first friend that visited.

意識と無意識の微妙な組み合わせ
が完璧な豆シチューを作る。

entropy of my will,
longing for the Friday’s bean stew in my family home,
a bit of stardust,
technology,
infinite procrastination,
hunger, 400g of white beans planted by some Stephan in Oyten,
and extra time that social distancing gave us to start missing the things.

meanwhile the snow stopped,
that tireless boy from downstairs is turning the building upside-down
the universe is still expanding,
my neighbourhood sounds busy,
police sirens acting like Munich is a metropole,
and I’m trying to get my head around this chaotic thoughts,
eager to make an order of this disorder of a system.
all turning towards transformation,
as Greeks would translate.

There is no end. there is only the process that is happening in uncountable Nows.
Now now now…

at the end there can still be some dancing with the dead,
ashes turned into shiny colorful beads,
or what I would choose – sitting on a chair, in the fanciest of clothes,
with a lit cigarette in my lips.

クラウドに始まり、クラウドに終わる。